Oh the bones, they burn

I'm in the awkward time of the year when I want to Do All Things!!! 

I want to paint and write and make outlandish costumes that might someday fit someone I know.  I want to bake things and eat small bites of them, then give away the rest.  I want to hang out with friends and watch silly movies over and over again and go see shows down in the city and listen to all the slam poetry I can find. 

I want to take my puppies to classes and watch Tia dance & dance & dance with her face glowing when she's told "good girl".  I want to ride my horses and cuddle them and tell Atisa that she's the best Pogo Pony ever because I know the years she has before her are a lot less than the years she has behind her.  Spring is just a few short months of snow away and the Bean is almost ready to hit the show circuit baring another catastrophic back injury and if the river doesn't rise and if I could just get a few more hours on her a week, we'll really BE something this year.

Every December is like this. 

I  come out of October, with it's preparation for Halloween & IlluxCon, ready to create things.   I did end up showing Bean at a local schooling show this year where she kicked ass & took names and was amazing and now I'm looking at the NEDA schedule going "May? We can have a canter lengthening by May!" I want a painting a week and next year's costumes done by New Years and why does my house not smell like nutmeg and magic yet?  It happens every year.

This year is especially annoying as I had to have some minor surgery right before Thanksgiving.  Minor in that I'm mostly back on my feet but any surgery that leaves an incision measured in inches isn't all minor on the "get up & make all things" scale.   I can't move normally yet, I certainly can't play volleyball or ride and walking the dogs is tricky.  I turn into a pumpkin by mid afternoon each day and work is taking most of my energy and cope at the moment.  I go home and fall into bed and wake up going "what can I make, right now, in this condition?"

The answer is "not much".    A watercolor painting for a friend.  Some more squares on the Neverending Crazy Quilt.  I've learned how to do North American Smocking, which I'm using to make cloth dragon scales to put on a barbarian outfit.  It's a bit like knitting in that, once my fingers learned it, I can just let my hands go while I watch gorgeous Asian dramas on netflix that are just confusing enough that the drugs don't really impinge on my enjoyment.   

So here's to a frustrating late fall where I have so many ideas and things I want to build but only my ten fingers and a few stolen, muddled hours a day to do any of it.