Everything but the Facts -Things I Don't Need To Do EVER Again

Part of my ER adventure was the mysterious "shadow" that showed up on a CAT scan on one of my ovaries.  The CAT scan was the first thing they did, their baseline imaging for someone coming in with stomach pain.  It showed a clear pocket of "stuff" in the soft tissue of my surgery site and this shadow.   Both the doctor organizing the whole ER dance and every other expert I saw that day was pretty convinced I had a surgery site infection ... but ... I'm a pre-menopausal woman in the ER with loads of symptoms and pain radiating from her abdomen and a shadow on an ovary.  Of course they're going to go looking at my girl parts, especially since my family has an extensive history of cancer and  they had the time.  No one was going to be available for HOURS to go stick a needle in that "stuff" so why not

What I didn't know when I agreed to this was exactly how miserable a trans-vaginal ultrasound really is.  

I've had normal ultrasounds before.  Cold jell, swooop swooop swooop, hey, it looks like your mom! 

And we did that (with a full bladder, no I mean, really full, no seriously, two bags of saline via IV and two bottles of water full).  Then I got to go pee and I got introduced to what one of my friends cheerfully called the Rape Stick.  Now I wouldn't go that far - I agreed to everything that followed but seriously!  Even with a thoughtful and careful tech (she was), it was a horrible experience.  No swoop swoop swoop, this was 40 minutes (I timed it on my Garmin out of curiosity) of misery ranging from very uncomfortable to downright painful bodily invasion, made much much worse by the poor tech having to push on my stomach in various places, including near & over my infected surgery site.  

Had I known just what all was involved, I would not have agreed to that procedure at that time.  Sure, it found an ovarian cyst.  Pretty sure it's neither my first or my last as I've had "cramps" put me to the floor on multiple occasions.  But yeah, never need to have one of those again.  Ever.