About climbing
May. 20th, 2002 12:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
joflasherWarning: Long
Hello, my name is jo! and I'm learning to rock climb because I'm afraid of it.
That's right,
Its not the height that bothers me. Put me on a ladder, a roof, a tree, no problem. Its the act of clinging to a stone face that I have a problem with. A big problem, actually.
Little bit of background. Last summer, Boy, S and A and I went hiking up in the White Mountains. 2 days, ~15 miles, 5 peaks. Lots of fun was had, a little moose poop was thrown and forgiveness was offered between the involved parties. Except this one part. About noon on day 2 we hit a section of the trail that went through a half mile of skree. (old avalanch face, lots of big bolders, looks like a river of rock on the mountain side). The trail was heading up the mountain, over the skree and involved climbing up about 5 - 10 feet over lots of boulders. On the steep side of a fairly big mountain. With packs on. Which meant you got the impression of being much higher up than you were AND you were a little unbalanced.
I was a mess by the time we were done. I never got completely stuck but I kept having to talk myself into just moving that foot up a little more, alright, let go with the hand, let go with the hand, let GO, DAMMIT! Okay, stop crying, blow your nose, come on, they're getting pretty far ahead of you, catch up on the straight stretch, don't let them see. I really think that I only made it through because I didn't have a choice. Like I said, we were two days in, the only real way out was forward and I was a shaking mess because I had to climb up 5 feet of rock. I never wanted to be in that situation again. Nothing like terror to ruin a good vacation. And that's just climbing up. Don't ask me to climb down.
Now Boy is really big into rock climbing. Did it all through highschool and off and on in college. Tried to take me once in college with the Pioneers. Didn't go well. Boy missed rock climbing and when S started getting back into it, Boy was all gungho too. And I decided I really didn't like having this weak spot. I decided I wanted to "work myself past it". In short, I decided to learn how to climb so that I wouldn't be afraid of it. I wish phobias listened to logic like that.
So Boy and I have been going to the local rock gym fairly often. I seem to be pretty much past the problem inside. Every once in awhile I still freeze up but its been a dozen trips since I couldn't talk myself into going forward. Only ever get scared when I come off of the wall unexpectedly and then its only a "normal" fear, not a paralyzing one.
I guess I was getting cocky or something. We went climbing outside this weekend. Yep, with real rocks and everything. You'd thought I hadn't been to the gym at all. Pretty much back to square one. Roughly 20 feet up I started shaking. Got about another 5 feet before I couldn't move, couldn't climb down, couldn't let go of the rock to be lowered down, couldn't stop shaking, just couldn't. Couldn't anything, anything at all. Boy was belaying me and ended up spending about 20 minutes getting me off the wall. Yep, from a whopping 25 ft up. By the time I got back to the ground, I was shaking to the falling over point, crying and having trouble breathing. All this on what the book says is a 5.3 climb. I'm up to 5.8's in the gym. Then the adrenaline rush wore off and I suddenly felt like I had been hit by a truck. A bit of sugar later and the truck feeling mostly left.
I belayed Boy, during which he hurt his elbow AGAIN! Then I got back on the wall, this time with A belaying and Boy offering advice. I think he wanted to be able to come up and get me if I got stuck again. I managed to actually get to the top. Was I shaking? Yeah. And I had to be talked into letting go so I could be lowered down. But I did get up it, dammit. Mainly by only looking at the rock right in front of my face but its a start. Maybe next time I'll be able to look for hand holds instead of having Boy call them out while I grope around. After that once, I reverted to doing bouldering problems. Which was fine, since I'd been climbing this week 3 times already and my feet weren't happy about being in climbing shoes that much. My right big toe nail is falling off and I have blisters all over the place. Not to mention being dead tired as only an adrenaline rush can leave you.
But its worth it. I'm learning things, not all of which directly relate to climbing. I'm learning some technique, so I no longer have to power my way up the wall with pure arm strength. I'm learning that I'm not a coward, no matter what I sometimes think of myself. I'm learning that my phobias, or at least this one, can be beaten with work. I'm learning that I really do have the bestest boy in the world. He's been willing to let me try, fail, try, fail, tryfailtryfail no matter how long it takes to get up that damn wall and he's always willing to hold me until the shaking stops. He's encouraging and helpful, even if his help is better suited to someone with a 6 ft wingspan. In short, I couldn't do it without him.
So that's about climbing.
Next fear to tackle - yellowjackets.
Hello, my name is jo! and I'm learning to rock climb because I'm afraid of it.
That's right,
Its not the height that bothers me. Put me on a ladder, a roof, a tree, no problem. Its the act of clinging to a stone face that I have a problem with. A big problem, actually.
Little bit of background. Last summer, Boy, S and A and I went hiking up in the White Mountains. 2 days, ~15 miles, 5 peaks. Lots of fun was had, a little moose poop was thrown and forgiveness was offered between the involved parties. Except this one part. About noon on day 2 we hit a section of the trail that went through a half mile of skree. (old avalanch face, lots of big bolders, looks like a river of rock on the mountain side). The trail was heading up the mountain, over the skree and involved climbing up about 5 - 10 feet over lots of boulders. On the steep side of a fairly big mountain. With packs on. Which meant you got the impression of being much higher up than you were AND you were a little unbalanced.
I was a mess by the time we were done. I never got completely stuck but I kept having to talk myself into just moving that foot up a little more, alright, let go with the hand, let go with the hand, let GO, DAMMIT! Okay, stop crying, blow your nose, come on, they're getting pretty far ahead of you, catch up on the straight stretch, don't let them see. I really think that I only made it through because I didn't have a choice. Like I said, we were two days in, the only real way out was forward and I was a shaking mess because I had to climb up 5 feet of rock. I never wanted to be in that situation again. Nothing like terror to ruin a good vacation. And that's just climbing up. Don't ask me to climb down.
Now Boy is really big into rock climbing. Did it all through highschool and off and on in college. Tried to take me once in college with the Pioneers. Didn't go well. Boy missed rock climbing and when S started getting back into it, Boy was all gungho too. And I decided I really didn't like having this weak spot. I decided I wanted to "work myself past it". In short, I decided to learn how to climb so that I wouldn't be afraid of it. I wish phobias listened to logic like that.
So Boy and I have been going to the local rock gym fairly often. I seem to be pretty much past the problem inside. Every once in awhile I still freeze up but its been a dozen trips since I couldn't talk myself into going forward. Only ever get scared when I come off of the wall unexpectedly and then its only a "normal" fear, not a paralyzing one.
I guess I was getting cocky or something. We went climbing outside this weekend. Yep, with real rocks and everything. You'd thought I hadn't been to the gym at all. Pretty much back to square one. Roughly 20 feet up I started shaking. Got about another 5 feet before I couldn't move, couldn't climb down, couldn't let go of the rock to be lowered down, couldn't stop shaking, just couldn't. Couldn't anything, anything at all. Boy was belaying me and ended up spending about 20 minutes getting me off the wall. Yep, from a whopping 25 ft up. By the time I got back to the ground, I was shaking to the falling over point, crying and having trouble breathing. All this on what the book says is a 5.3 climb. I'm up to 5.8's in the gym. Then the adrenaline rush wore off and I suddenly felt like I had been hit by a truck. A bit of sugar later and the truck feeling mostly left.
I belayed Boy, during which he hurt his elbow AGAIN! Then I got back on the wall, this time with A belaying and Boy offering advice. I think he wanted to be able to come up and get me if I got stuck again. I managed to actually get to the top. Was I shaking? Yeah. And I had to be talked into letting go so I could be lowered down. But I did get up it, dammit. Mainly by only looking at the rock right in front of my face but its a start. Maybe next time I'll be able to look for hand holds instead of having Boy call them out while I grope around. After that once, I reverted to doing bouldering problems. Which was fine, since I'd been climbing this week 3 times already and my feet weren't happy about being in climbing shoes that much. My right big toe nail is falling off and I have blisters all over the place. Not to mention being dead tired as only an adrenaline rush can leave you.
But its worth it. I'm learning things, not all of which directly relate to climbing. I'm learning some technique, so I no longer have to power my way up the wall with pure arm strength. I'm learning that I'm not a coward, no matter what I sometimes think of myself. I'm learning that my phobias, or at least this one, can be beaten with work. I'm learning that I really do have the bestest boy in the world. He's been willing to let me try, fail, try, fail, tryfailtryfail no matter how long it takes to get up that damn wall and he's always willing to hold me until the shaking stops. He's encouraging and helpful, even if his help is better suited to someone with a 6 ft wingspan. In short, I couldn't do it without him.
So that's about climbing.
Next fear to tackle - yellowjackets.
