oh the horrors
Jun. 13th, 2003 03:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
joflasherAfter 2+ years, I'm finally caving in and showing Carol's horses for her. I've even agreed to ride her horses at the A level breed show coming up in August. Yep, me going against professional riders on $50,000 horses. Luckily, Tisa just might have enough style to make both of us look good. Hey, she's even learned to canter and turn at the same time...well, mostly.
Unfortunately, I no longer own show clothing and even if I did, I'm a good 40lbs bigger than I was 10 years ago when I last did this. So now I get to spend a large portion of tomorrow trying to find show clothes. I have to do it tomorrow because I have a show on Sunday that requires proper attire.
Sometimes I wish Tisa had the moves of a saddleseat arbian instead of a hunter. Its perfectly acceptable to wear well done, home made saddle seat outfits at the top level shows. And I'd get to wear tails and a bowler. I know, I can't make the nifty hat myself but still, I've never sewn a jacket with tails before. In saddleseat, wearing custom made clothing is what you do. Only posers wear off the rack stuff. I could handle that. Instead of facing hours of shopping and grumbling and "it cost HOW much?", I would be planning to sit at home with my trusty sewing machine, 3 yards of hand picked material and have fun...alas, its not to be. Hell, if she moved like a western horse, I could wear my old cowboy boots from my cattle showing days (my feet have not put on weight, thank you), a pair of jeans and a gaudy shirt from Goodwill. Why can't hunters be like that? You can quite literally spend as much money as you want on hunter outfits and still not be in "style". The top names for english riding attire give designer clothing a run for its money on pretensiousness and cost. Can you tell I'm bitter? Nothing quite like the prospect of spending large amounts of money on clothing specifically designed to make you look like a sausage stuffed sack to put you in a good mood.
I'll also have to break in a new pair of tall boots, assuming I can't find a nice pair of used ones. Tall boots require at least 3 people to get off of your feet when they're new. When they are almost ready to die from old age, then you can use this special wooden catch thingy to pull them off. Not before then, you'll only dislocate your ankle. You guys remember the quest for knee high boots for normal use, don't you? Well, think of trying to find something like that, only no zippers, no velcro, no elastic, no laces. Just a molded leather tube that's vaguely leg and foot shaped that you have to push, pull and sever your foot into. If you're luckily, they have gussets down near the ankles so you have some give to get your foot around the bend. Now think about getting them back off. Yeh, I'm cringing too. Luckily, horseback riding does "interesting" things to most people's legs. Finding boots that are wide enough through the calves shouldn't be as bad as trying to find dress boots for the same wide calves. Almost everyone who spent any time on horseback as a child is going to need room in the leg area.
Its not like the stuff is even useful for its "intended" purpose! I'm telling you, a sadist designed english hunter show clothing. Who in their right mind would really want to go hunting in unflattering baby shit green tights, a scratchy wool jacket and boots that have the unique ability to rub blisters from toe to knee without ever being walked in more than a few steps AND don't come off? I've hunted. I've even hunted from horseback and I would never actually wear that getup to go chase down something and kill it. Maybe I'm just unrefined or not British enough but give me a pair of good briar proof pants/chaps, shoes I can run in and a coat that's not going to have me reaching up to scratch my neck every two minutes any day. Don't get me started on the stupid velvet helmet. Maybe it was some weird punishment thing cooked up by the tailors of the past to make the lords miserable while sport hunting. Yeah, that must be it. And the descendants of those poor starving tailors are now getting us all back by charging obscene amounts of money from the poor horse people. Yeah, that's it. They turned the tables on us, those bastards! BURN THEM!!!
...
...
...
or maybe I just shouldn't have drank that last cup coffee
...
...
...
If its called hunting, why don't we get to carry guns into the ring? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Unfortunately, I no longer own show clothing and even if I did, I'm a good 40lbs bigger than I was 10 years ago when I last did this. So now I get to spend a large portion of tomorrow trying to find show clothes. I have to do it tomorrow because I have a show on Sunday that requires proper attire.
Sometimes I wish Tisa had the moves of a saddleseat arbian instead of a hunter. Its perfectly acceptable to wear well done, home made saddle seat outfits at the top level shows. And I'd get to wear tails and a bowler. I know, I can't make the nifty hat myself but still, I've never sewn a jacket with tails before. In saddleseat, wearing custom made clothing is what you do. Only posers wear off the rack stuff. I could handle that. Instead of facing hours of shopping and grumbling and "it cost HOW much?", I would be planning to sit at home with my trusty sewing machine, 3 yards of hand picked material and have fun...alas, its not to be. Hell, if she moved like a western horse, I could wear my old cowboy boots from my cattle showing days (my feet have not put on weight, thank you), a pair of jeans and a gaudy shirt from Goodwill. Why can't hunters be like that? You can quite literally spend as much money as you want on hunter outfits and still not be in "style". The top names for english riding attire give designer clothing a run for its money on pretensiousness and cost. Can you tell I'm bitter? Nothing quite like the prospect of spending large amounts of money on clothing specifically designed to make you look like a sausage stuffed sack to put you in a good mood.
I'll also have to break in a new pair of tall boots, assuming I can't find a nice pair of used ones. Tall boots require at least 3 people to get off of your feet when they're new. When they are almost ready to die from old age, then you can use this special wooden catch thingy to pull them off. Not before then, you'll only dislocate your ankle. You guys remember the quest for knee high boots for normal use, don't you? Well, think of trying to find something like that, only no zippers, no velcro, no elastic, no laces. Just a molded leather tube that's vaguely leg and foot shaped that you have to push, pull and sever your foot into. If you're luckily, they have gussets down near the ankles so you have some give to get your foot around the bend. Now think about getting them back off. Yeh, I'm cringing too. Luckily, horseback riding does "interesting" things to most people's legs. Finding boots that are wide enough through the calves shouldn't be as bad as trying to find dress boots for the same wide calves. Almost everyone who spent any time on horseback as a child is going to need room in the leg area.
Its not like the stuff is even useful for its "intended" purpose! I'm telling you, a sadist designed english hunter show clothing. Who in their right mind would really want to go hunting in unflattering baby shit green tights, a scratchy wool jacket and boots that have the unique ability to rub blisters from toe to knee without ever being walked in more than a few steps AND don't come off? I've hunted. I've even hunted from horseback and I would never actually wear that getup to go chase down something and kill it. Maybe I'm just unrefined or not British enough but give me a pair of good briar proof pants/chaps, shoes I can run in and a coat that's not going to have me reaching up to scratch my neck every two minutes any day. Don't get me started on the stupid velvet helmet. Maybe it was some weird punishment thing cooked up by the tailors of the past to make the lords miserable while sport hunting. Yeah, that must be it. And the descendants of those poor starving tailors are now getting us all back by charging obscene amounts of money from the poor horse people. Yeah, that's it. They turned the tables on us, those bastards! BURN THEM!!!
...
...
...
or maybe I just shouldn't have drank that last cup coffee
...
...
...
If its called hunting, why don't we get to carry guns into the ring? Yeah, that's what I thought.
