Under my skin
Sep. 26th, 2005 11:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
joflasherArgh!
Can't work, can't sit still, can't concentrate, sure as hell can't code.
Actually, I can but I know I'll scrap it all tomorrow. My standards are high and this dreck I'm producing just doesn't hold up.
Its cool. Its cloudy. The storm is coming in over the harbor and I can't get out to meet it.
I'm stuck sitting here with everything in me going "want want WANT" and I couldn't tell you WHAT I want, just that I don't have it.
So I'm watching the sky with my windows open, trying to convince myself that I'm okay, I can breathe, work will be over soon. I can smell the sea right now and I know its not helping but I can't stand to shut everything up and live on recycled air today. I'm a little afraid to go out to get lunch since I might not make it back in.
I know it'll go away, it'll calm down, the crawling will stop. I'll learn to live with it again. Its always like this, the first week or two.
Autumn is here and I have to remember how to think around it.
Tonight I'll go ride through the groton sand quarry. I'll drop the reins and let her run through the woods as though the wild hunt itself is on our heels ... just to try to burn it out of me for a little while. I don't know how I'm going to sleep, otherwise.
Can't work, can't sit still, can't concentrate, sure as hell can't code.
Actually, I can but I know I'll scrap it all tomorrow. My standards are high and this dreck I'm producing just doesn't hold up.
Its cool. Its cloudy. The storm is coming in over the harbor and I can't get out to meet it.
I'm stuck sitting here with everything in me going "want want WANT" and I couldn't tell you WHAT I want, just that I don't have it.
So I'm watching the sky with my windows open, trying to convince myself that I'm okay, I can breathe, work will be over soon. I can smell the sea right now and I know its not helping but I can't stand to shut everything up and live on recycled air today. I'm a little afraid to go out to get lunch since I might not make it back in.
I know it'll go away, it'll calm down, the crawling will stop. I'll learn to live with it again. Its always like this, the first week or two.
Autumn is here and I have to remember how to think around it.
Tonight I'll go ride through the groton sand quarry. I'll drop the reins and let her run through the woods as though the wild hunt itself is on our heels ... just to try to burn it out of me for a little while. I don't know how I'm going to sleep, otherwise.
