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[personal profile] joflasher
For the last few years, my life has been lacking music. Oh, I have plenty of CDs and can sometimes even be caught listening to them. I mean creative music. Music that I can feel going through me. Music that I'm part of and am taking a part of by creating. I miss playing an instrument.


Long ago, back in high school, I was part of both the school chorus and both sections of the school band (orchestra and marching). In the band, I was known as the bass girl. Bass clarinet was my "standard" orchestra instrument but it wasn't uncommon for me to take 1 or 2 other instruments on stage with me from the clarinet or lower brass families, depending on what was needed. For marching band, I played the tuba. 'Nuf said.

I eventually abandoned chorus due to laziness. I have a break right smack dab in the middle of my voice that kept me from being *good* and regulated me to being *just* an alto. Four years under the same voice instructor and all we managed to do was to make the break smaller. Sure I could do solos but only very carefully picked ones. If I didn't consistantly practice, that break grew from one or two notes to half an octave.

I rarely ever needed to take an instrument home and I was always first in my section from about 9th grade on. I didn't have to work for it and so when I had to choose between instruments or voice, I took the one with more glory and less effort.


I find myself missing it desperately. I have an odds and ends collection of wind instruments ranging from penny whistles to a bassoon. I have a lap harp that is still missing its upper G string. I have access to the Boy's guitar, though I was never very good with those things.

Sometimes I get them out and fiddle with them and squeak and strum and be depressed. I want to create music again. I want to be able to sit down with confidence with a sheet of music and PLAY. Not spend an hour picking out fingerings only to find that my lips have given out before I can play the piece. I want to be able to set aside a certain time each week to practice and regain those lost skills.

I'm being silly. I don't have time for my art or for sewing or for half a dozen things I used to do and want to do more of and desperately squeeze in where ever I can. I don't have time to retrain myself in music. But I wish I did.

If you hear squawking coming from the spare bedroom, please ignore it. Its just the last dying gasps of an old hobby that won't let go.

January 2019

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