And now for the Truth about riding horses
Feb. 26th, 2004 04:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
joflasher10 Ways to Become a Better Rider
1. Drop heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout, "Get off stupid!! GET OFF!"
2. Leap out of moving objects and practice "relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into ball and spring to your feet.
3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without looking down.
4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and carrot. Go ahead and tell your neighbors what you're doing; they might as well know now.
5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if you're having fun.
6. Hone your fibbing skills. "See Hon', moving hay bales is FUN!"
7. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
8. Borrow the U.S. Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be . . . . bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled...
9. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience, this is . . .."
10. Marry money.
1. Drop heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout, "Get off stupid!! GET OFF!"
2. Leap out of moving objects and practice "relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into ball and spring to your feet.
3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without looking down.
4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and carrot. Go ahead and tell your neighbors what you're doing; they might as well know now.
5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if you're having fun.
6. Hone your fibbing skills. "See Hon', moving hay bales is FUN!"
7. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
8. Borrow the U.S. Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be . . . . bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled...
9. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience, this is . . .."
10. Marry money.
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-27 03:45 pm (UTC)