Stolen from Kasra_C's journal

[joflasher]

Nice guys get turned by women all the time. Okay, so do "sort of okay" guys and "smart but no social skills" guys and "cute but assholey" guys and "mostly nice but likes to torture small rodent" guys and "I'm just a prick" guys ... the list goes on and on. Why does only one of these groups seem to think they should have free rein to whine about it? "I'm nice so every girl I express interest in, hold the hand of and make soup for should give it up and if she doesn't its because I'm too nice, boohoo".

Wrong'o, Keemosabe!

*note, article was written with otaku (anime fanboys) in mind but holds pretty damn true for the plebes as well.

Comments

[luminifer.livejournal.com]

i think one of the strongest misconceptions is the difference between _nice_ and _creepy and obsessive and worshipful and all-self-giving_... those people can be scary, either gender. and they consider themselves nice. ulterior motives, etc.
and of course being nice isn't everything - would any one of those guys want to date any random 'nice' girl they know? hm. maybe we shouldn't ask that.
and i guess some people _are_ into the asshole type - either gender, again. but really you can make excuses that point the blame to anyone for any situation.

btw, my understanding of 'otaku' is that it really just means obsessive people - doesn't just apply to anime.. and they are much more than fanboys (although maybe not, considering most anime fans ;)

[flasher.livejournal.com]

I can think of at least 6 men I know who have ranted about how girls don't like "nice" guys at one point or another. Most of the time said ranting happened after a breakup and they were bitter. A couple of them use it as an excuse as to why they have no luck with women and wallow in it.

I bow to your superior japanese wisdom. I only know the word because its commonly used in the anime forums to describe the overly obsessed members.

[luminifer.livejournal.com]

yeah, i know the type even if i can't think of anyone who's made exactly that claim... there are so many reasons i can think of (mostly incorrect reasons) which would cause people to say things like that.
one thing, though, is that some girls do like more 'assertive' guys. a lot of 'nice' guys are sometimes too nice, too unopinionated in a subjugated way? just guesswork on my part, i'm rambling.

heh... you read anime forums? i didn't know you were into that at all....?

[starherd.livejournal.com]

I keep throwing anime at her :-D

[flasher.livejournal.com]

blame Starherd. She sent me a HUGE box of it for christmas and got me started. I've run through most of the non-dragonballZ stuff off of netflix.

[starherd.livejournal.com]

oo! oo! Did you watch the first dvd of Card Captor Sakura (as opposed to its over-edited Americanization Cardcaptors) and/or Gundam Wing? I know they've got those... And Gundam Wing is, like, required viewing for a.) political scheming and b.) understanding fangirls...

[msde.livejournal.com]

"I can think of at least 6 men I know who have ranted about how girls don't like "nice" guys at one point or another."

Nonono, it's usually a rant about a specific girl or a specific guy, ie "I don't see what she sees in him". The nice guys I know may have women trouble, but it's not an inability to find one unless they look and bathe like an otaku.

[talldean.livejournal.com]

A couple of them use it as an excuse as to why they have no luck with women and wallow in it.

I think I was strongly in 'that mold' for awhile, and no one wants to be 'that guy'.

Thankfully, time's treated me pretty well. :)

[freeptop.livejournal.com]

As a completely tangential side note, the definition of "otaku", like the definition of the word "anime", is slightly different depending on what country you're in.
In the US, "anime" means Japanese animation specifically, and "otaku" generally means that one is a fan of anime.
In Japan, "anime" means anything animated, and "otaku" doesn't apply just to anime - and does mean they tend to be over the line the separates "fans" from "obsessed fanatics" ;)

[msde.livejournal.com]

hah, it's just because nice guys seem to write about it the most and put it where you end up seeing it. Most guys need to vent when they aren't worried about girls seeing it. A lot of the other methods involve alcohol :D

Dean showed me an exception to only nice guys whining online a while back.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html
http://www.laddertheory.com/

[talldean.livejournal.com]

'nuff said.

[zyrain.livejournal.com]

Lol. Yeah, that needed to be said. Though I'm probably one of the six, I'm better now.

Nice is just sort of a pre-req. The real secret is being confident and friendly (two things, most 'nice guy whiners' lack).

[blk]

#3 is the one I've seen in play most often and it bugs the hell outta me. Most of the guys I know who complain about not getting girls are the exact same guys who see women as an entirely different species from men -- the only reason they guys look at them is to determine if they are cute enough or nice enough or single enough. Friends? What's that?

A rather different, but interesting (and long), look at the Nice Guy theory was detailed here.